Life doesn’t seem fair a lot of times. We have no control
over the storms that can devastate our lives. We only have control over how we
handle them. And right now I am not handling a sudden storm that snatched the
life from my four-year-old three-quarters Chihuahua one-quarter Min-pin – Koda.
Koda means friend in the Dakota Sioux language. He was my
little buddy, my little munchkin, and my baby. I never would have thought that
I would fall in love with a “dinky dog” as I had always called little dogs, or
what some people call ankle biters. I was always a bigger dog person.
Koda came into my life when another dog was not doing well. I felt like God had brought Koda into my life to help with the eventual loss of GhostDog. I was smitten with this little puppy from the day I saw him; and he was put into my arms, lying there as if he’d been waiting all his young life for me.
When Koda was three and a half years old, I lost my black
lab, Worf, on Christmas morning 2013, after dealing with his hospice care for a
month. I knew Worf’s life had been long – fourteen and a half years and two
days old, and was prepared for him to cross the Rainbow Bridge.
A few days after Worf died, I adopted a deaf dog, naming her
Hope. She was just a few weeks away from being a year old. She came with a lot
of fear and separation anxiety; but then steps in Koda, who became Hope’s ears
and who helped with her anxiety when I had to go to work or run errands.
We just recently got through dealing with Hope being very
sick for over three months, and there were moments we were not sure she was
going to survive. Her weight is nearly back to normal. She was back to playing
with Koda, stealing his toys and just pestering him.
Saturday, Koda was hiding behind the toilet after yet
another storm, or so I thought. In reality, he was not feeling well. He’d been
fine the day before, the week before, etc. Saturday night, Koda peed blood.
That can happen with a bladder infection, but just a few hours later, in the
early hours of Sunday, Koda died. How can this be?
I feel like someone has grabbed a hold of me by the back of my neck and slammed me
into a brick wall. My heart has been ripped to bits, and Koda has taken a chunk
with him.
I don’t know why God has taken Koda at such a young age and
without warning. I don’t know what lesson or lessons I am suppose to learn at
this point. All I know and can say is that it isn’t fair; and I’m not just
hurt, but I am angry. Most of all, I feel lost once again.
